Missed opportunity

I’ve been pushed to the limit this week.  Ive been suffering with severe anxiety and i’ve been pulling non-stop.  Sometimes I would look down at the mounds of hair over my keyboard.  And yet I overcame- and was rewarded with an opportunity and a feeling of purpose.  While my story was still going to be aired on public radio I had the chance to host the entire newshow.

I felt so good about myself.. all that hard work finally paying off.  Someone saw how much I wanted to improve.  I told my parents and others about my to-be success.

I don’t know whats wrong with me.  Why do I throw everything away all the time? Today was supposed to be a day full of accomplishments and firsts.  Instead I cried my eyes out, ate a ton of food and slept the entire day.

How do people get over things like this? Its so difficult to have self-compassion when you are a real idiot.


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